Eight. One to change the bulb and the other seven to whinge about Fairytale Of New York not being Christmas number one back in 1987. It was pipped at the post by Pet Shop Boys' disco cover of Always On My Mind. More than 20 years on and the odd jibe keeps coming, usually a pop at Pet Shop Boys and karaoke. At the time Shane MacGowan infamously said that the Pogues were beaten by "two queens and a drum machine", or "faggots with synths", depending on which interview you read, and as recently as two years ago, banjoist Jem Finer described their version of Always On My Mind as "not very interesting", adding: "as far as I'm concerned Fairytale Of New York has had a longer life than that particular song." Well, of course it has, it's a bloody Christmas record! I'm not irritated that often but it's a subject that's bugged me for years, probably elevated by the fact I post on Pet Shop Boys internet fora and naturally the topic is raised regularly. So yes, I'm a Pet Shop Boys fan, which may make me sound a little biased, but I should point out straight away that, as great as Always On My Mind is, Fairytale Of New York is the better record. It's a fantastic song and up there with the best of the Christmas canon. I've sung it at karaoke nights in the past and definitely will again this month. Hell, I even downloaded it when the iTunes revolution began as my only previous copy of the song was on tape on Now That's What I Call Music 11. Off the top of my head, the only festive record I think I prefer is Jona Lewie's Stop The Cavalry. It's a genuine shame Fairytale... didn't make number one.
So what's my problem? Well, it's the fact that the Pogues and everyone closely associated with the record continually and arrogantly twist history, making it sound like they had a God-given right to be number one and that Pet Shop Boys had somehow snatched it from them in a bitter chart battle. This is utter bollocks. It was no Rage Against The Machine v Joe McElderry, Blur v Oasis (albeit that being during a different part of the year) or even Bob The Builder v Westlife; back in 1987 chart behaviour was completely different and from week to week there were rarely instances where you could predict a genuine two-way battle. Records genuinely battling for Christmas number one were never released in the final week anyway, as back then singles charting at number one were pretty rare.
Going into the definitive Christmas week, Always On My Mind was already at the top for its first of four weeks and Fairytale... only number eight, so, without wanting to sound patronising, climbing to number two was actually a damn good achievement for the latter, particularly as it overtook a stronger favourite in Rick Astley's version of Nat King Cole's When I Fall In Love (definitely closer to karaoke than Always On My Mind!).
Indeed, if any artist was genuinely unlucky not to top the Christmas chart,
it was Astley. The week before, his cover of Nat King Cole's When I Fall In Love was at number two but unfortunately for him, clamour for the orginal to be re-released succeeded and suddenly he was up against it. His own release became overshadowed and arguably suffered as a result as Nat King Cole rocketed up the chart and ended up as high as number seven that week. Astley's version dropped to number four.In a BBC documentary three years ago MacGowan described Always On My Mind as a "fucking sick joke", somewhat ironic considering the song was actually recorded as a tribute to Elvis for a TV show marking the tenth anniversary of the King's death, and not even intended until late on to be released as a single. Jeez, it was hardly Shaddap Your Face, was it?
However, in the interests of balance I should add that Pet Shop Boys were much closer to committing such an atrocity when they released a desperate mash-up of U2's Where The Streets Have No Name and Andy Williams' Can't Take My Eyes Off You four years later - one of the few duds in the duo's catalogue and disappointingly untimely as it followed Being Boring, considered by some musos to be up there with the finest pop records ever written. And probably considered THE finest had Morrissey written it.
The late Kirsty MacColl confessed some time afterwards that she liked Always On My Mind, which isn't that surprising as her career straddled several genres, from new wave and folk to disco and later latin music. I can't pretend to be an avid fan but it's impossible not to love her self-penned They Don't Know, which became a hit for Tracey Ullman, while her dance-tinged 1991 hit Walking Down Madison is an undersated gem.
This month marks the tenth anniversary of her tragic death in a boating accident off Mexico. There are several Facebook groups supporting Rage Against The Machine-esque campaigns to push Fairytale... to number one ahead of this year's X Factor winner as a tribute. It's unlikely to happen, though the song is enjoying its annual festive creep up the charts and at the time of writing is hovering around the top 30. A battle would be fun, mind you, if only to see MacGowan's gnashers square up to Simon Cowell. RIP, Kirsty and Bah Humbug, Shane.